Love is beautiful, isn’t it? Given the fact that we have so many patriarchal explanations about love that we think that the passion behind it is common. And while that is true, nothing out of bounds is good for anyone. In order to treat obsessive love disorder, you first need to know what it is all about.
Not every prospect of love is beautiful. Some can start taking a toll on you as well.
In here, we are going to be discussing the basics concerning how to deal with obsessive love and find ways out of the same for a healthier overall well being.
What Is Obsessive Love?
Just as the term suggests, Obsessive love is a condition in which a person becomes obsessed with someone with the thought of being in love with them.
While you might think that this is quite normal and common around, trust me, it’s not. People who suffer from this disorder have been reported to have consistent feelings of being overprotective of the person or even go to the point to treat them as a possession.
What Causes Obsessive Love Disorder?
When it comes down to discussing about the possible causes for obsessive love disorder, the same either roots from one’s mental health struggles or something associated with the same.
Some of the common causes of this condition include:
When it comes to discussing about attachment disorders, it categorizes the people who have issues related to attachment. Majority of the time, they are the ones who have not empathy and tend to latch on to things or people.
Disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED) and reactive attachment disorder (RAD) are the two common types of such attachment disorders that could be the reasoning behind the Obsession.
Yet another factor that does play a crucial role in all of this is delusional jealousy. People who suffer from this problem tend to not acknowledge certain situations.
They have a tendency to make things up in their mind, certain situations that do end up suiting their position and delusion better. When it comes to dealing with the obsessive compulsive love, it comes down to a matter of them thinking that the other person somehow reciprocates their love.
Even a conducted study (R) in 2005 stated and linked delusional jealousy with that of alcoholism in men.
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
Many people have this wrong notion that OCD is only associated with people who struggle with cleanliness. This is nothing but a standard stereotype.
This mental health issue is so serious that one suffering from it can often start projecting their obsession on someone else as well. People struggling with OCD tend to have this constant requirement of being reassured which often ends up being a problem in the relationship.
Relationship OCD is a thing where the person tends to become obsessed with their partner and might end up making them feel trapped and suffocated as well.
Obsessional jealousy is not like delusional jealousy. A person suffering from this can often feel trapped in a relationship, thinking their partner might be cheating on them.
The constant string of thoughts is often believed to stem from the thoughts they have about themselves which projects a worse condition for them.
Signs And Symptoms Of Obsessive Love Disorder
Now that we have walked ourselves through the common terms, it is time we discuss about the common signs and symptoms you might notice with this condition.
- A very strong and overwhelming emotional attachment with a person
- Constant string of obsessive thoughts about them
- The constant feeling of being protective of someone
- Extreme level of jealousy over a person
- Consistent low self esteem
How To Deal With Obsessive Love?
Dealing with obsessive love is something that you need to master on your own. It is important to ensure that you are trying to overcome obsessive love addiction by yourself, failing which there is nothing that you can do.
Some of the effective ways in which one can cure obsession love addiction include:
1. Be Aware of Your Obsession
Realizing that there is a problem is the first step to actually rectifying it for good. If you are constantly finding yourself doing things out of your ethic and something that wouldn’t normally do, it is best to realize that the problem stems from you itself.
Start by admitting to yourself that you have a problem. The moment you do that, a lot of your problem will be solved anyhow along with it.
2. Realise if it’s Real
There are times when people tend to say they are in love when they actually aren’t. Realising if it is actually pure love or just a mere obsession can actually help you a lot to get over obsessive love.
When you know that there is something not right in the situation, you will be a lot more skeptical and serious about the condition altogether. It is important to understand if the love you “feel” is actually real, you wouldn’t necessarily obsess over the common downsides and obsess over every last detail.
3. Be Realistic of the Expectations
It is important to understand that when it comes to Relationship Obsession, it is not necessarily important for your partner to think the way you think as well.
It goes without saying that it is important to be realistic about the situation and the obsession. When you are obsessed with someone, there are possibilities that the same might end up clouding your mind and judgments.
If you want a healthy relationship, it is important that you realize that it is important to be on the same page as your partner as well. Talk it out instead of bottling things up.
4. Realize the Dangers Associated
Yet another important way to treat obsessive love disorder is to ensure that you know the dangers that are associated with this disorder.
Many people often don’t even realize for a fact that this is a problem in the first place, feeling that the same is normal and not a mental health issue. In order to treat the condition, it is very important to know what are the dangers and downsides associated with the same.
If you are obsessed with your partner, there are chances that you will start being very dependent on them and base every last ounce of your happiness from them which is something that is not good in the long run.
5. Think of Your Partner
When you are suffering from obsessive love disorder, chances are that you are only thinking of yourself and trying to project your beliefs on someone else. That is definitely not how everything works.
If you want to stop this obsessive love for oneself, it is very important to ensure that you think of the situation from your partner’s point of view as well. It is important to take their wishes and dreams into consideration and realize for a fact that whatever you are forcibly thinking or projecting on them might not necessarily be the best option to rely upon.
Realize that your obsessive thoughts and expectations are not always realistic and then prioritise everything around that to get better.
6. Take Small Steps
Relationships are tough and not rainbows and butterflies all the time.
If you feel like you need to overcome obsessive love addiction, it is actually very important to ensure that you start it off by taking small steps.
Try with a relaxed approach to this and start off with relaxing into the rhythm of the same. When you have a relaxed approach to it, it does become a lot easier for you to understand where you are wrong and then rectify the same along the way.
7. Start by Loving Yourself
It is important to start loving yourself. If you are here wondering there is nothing that you could do and the string of thoughts are stemming from the bad thoughts about yourself, it is time you change those thoughts for good and understand for a fact that in order to treat obsessive love disorder, you need to start loving yourself first.
Many people who suffer from this condition tend to feel like they are not good enough and thus obsess more on their partner, believing that there are possibilities for them leaving or worse, cheating on them.
The best way to fight it off is by opting for constructive methods and by start loving yourself for who you are. The path is long but not impossible.
8. Understand You aren’t Answerable to Someone Else
Acknowledging yourself is not easy that you have an obsession. Doing the same with others can be very awkward as well. If you feel like you are having a hard time, it is important to understand that you don’t necessarily have to answer anyone.
If you find it is not important to give any kind of explanation to that person, you need to take a step back and come up with something else to tell them. In order to treat obsessive love disorder, it is good you understand that the people not involved in the matter don’t necessarily need to know about it.
The overall range of ways to treat obsessive love disorder is completely on how you handle the situations. It is important to ensure that you know the ins and outs of the situation yourself and if required, consult someone professional who would be able to guide you through the recovery process.