Depression is a daunting term that has the capability of haunting anyone’s nightmares. And if you thought that this is restricted to the mere realms of your mental health, you are slightly mistaken. Depression in relationship is quite common and can affect not just you but your partner as well.
Because of the overwhelming realm of thoughts, it is often hard to judge the signs of depression in relationships which is why it is important to ensure that you understand the symptoms and take necessary actions.
In this article, we are going to be discussing about the depression and relation problems and how depression affects a relationship. If you relate to any of the mentioned points, it is maybe time to rethink.
How To Know If Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed?
Chances are that it will often be hard to understand that the constant feeling of low in the relationship is not momentary and something persistent. There will be a number of red alerts (R) that you need to look out for and below, we have enlisted some of the most common ones for you to go through.
1. You Lose Your Voice With Every Passing Day
How many times has it happened that you have tried to ensue a conversation and put forth your opinion about it, only to be shut out by your partner? Losing your voice with every single day is one of the most common signs of depression in relationship that we often sweep under the rug. If you find that you have lost all the control in the relationship, it is actually a very common sign of being controlled over in a relationship – which is unjust and toxic.
Each of the partners needs to have an equal outlook on every single aspect of the relationship. If you are finding your voice stomped over with every single day, it is time that you assess the situation.
2. You Have Become Dependent On Your Partner
Human nature seeks validation and consistent nurturing but if you are finding yourself losing every part of your individuality, it is time for you to realize that it is time to take a step back and assess. While a relationship is meant for equal and healthy codependency, when the same gets out of hand, that is when you know that it is one of the signs of depression in relationships.
If you have been priorly diagnosed with depression before getting together with your partner, it is quite important for your partner to be receptive of the idea and take care of your mental health and not overwhelm you.
3. “What Will He/She Think?”
Often times, it is quite hard to understand the fine line between caring about your partner’s thoughts and being fearful of them. If you are constantly on the edge thinking about what would happen if you ended up doing something “wrong”, that is when you need to know that the relationship is starting to take a toll on you.
Opinions in a relationship are never one sided, it needs to go both ways which is why it is important that you stop and think when you are constantly fearing what your partner is going to say. Withdrawal thinking of your partner’s wrath shouldn’t be a common happenstance. If it is, think again.
4. You Don’t Indulge Much In Social Activities
If social activities have started including isolation, it is definitely one of the depression in a relationship symptoms that you need to be alert about. Often times, we start to get so reclusive about the situations that it not just becomes hard to open up to new people, the same starts feeling like an impending chore.
You have been traumatized in the relationship so much, that going out and meeting new people feels like something that would disbalance the harmony that you have created in your headspace. New people and different kind of social activities might feel like situations that start taking a toll on you.
5. The Relationship Starts To Take A Toll On You
As cliché as it sounds, being in a relationship is supposed to be liberating and boosting your mental well being but if the same is doing the complete opposite, it is time that you take into account the prospects of depression and relationship problems.
If the relationship starts to feel like a burden on your chest, weighing you down day after day, it is better to take it accountable as one of the signs of depression in relationships. You need to either step up and make things better for the both of you or take a step back and let the things unravel. It often takes up a lot for someone in a relationship to acknowledge that it is being the primary reason behind their affected mental health and move on from the situation.
6. You Are The One Giving Always
Giving doesn’t just mean materialistic things; it can be something as trivial and important as your time and efforts too. A relationship just can’t be based around on you giving and your partner being on the receiving end all the time. It is always a bit of a give and take and if the same is not the case with your relationship, the same is a sign of how depression affects relationship.
Being the primary contributor can be in terms of finances or even when it comes to domesticity. Whatever the aspect of contribution be, for it to be a healthy relationship, it is necessary that your partner does as much as you do.
7. You Have Forgotten To Smile
“Isn’t love supposed to make me feel happy and giddy?”
If this has been in your constant trail of thoughts, chances are that you are experiencing depression in a relationship. Many people tend to overlook and blame the turn of events on either the work stress or on something else to make themselves think that it is sometimes okay to not have the picture perfect definition for relationships that we see on the television and movies. And while that is perfectly alright because no relationship is perfect, but if you have completely forgotten to smile or laugh your heart out or feel contentment, which is when the problem arises.
And the important part? You need to not just acknowledge the problem but work on changing it for the better.
8. You Have Lost Will To Fix Anything
Often times, the depression and relationship become so synonymous and entwined that you lose count of which one has the upper hand and which needs to be taken out of the equation. If you and your partner have been constantly fighting and becoming aggressive against each other’s presence and opinion, it is one of the most common depressions and relationship problems.
The constant battle beats you up so bad that it becomes hard for you to stick back and fix something because you know that the situation is fall back to square one right after 2 minutes of being fixed.
9. Your Partner Doesn’t Acknowledge
One of the most important things about a relationship is communication. If your partner is not communicating well with you – be it about anything, chances are that the possibilities of misunderstanding constantly rise. When you find your partner constantly shying away from listening to you, the feeling of rejection can often lead you to isolation.
The constant rejection and the overwhelming feeling of isolation are often potent in driving someone into feeling depressed and down in the relationship.
10. You Are Seeking Out Someone To Talk
And when I mentioned that you are finding peace in unloading your stress of the relationship on someone outside of the relationship, it is not just about a therapist or a relationship councellor. When you are seeking out validation from someone outside of the relationship, telling them about the downsides of the relationship, chances are that you are seeing validation from them.
This kind of action is often referred to as Emotional Cheating and is often common when someone experiences depression in a relationship. This is commonly done when you are not able to communicate with your partner about the problems you are facing in the relationship and you seek out someone from the outside.
11. You Feel Criticized
When there are two people involved in something, it is impossible to agree on every single aspect that your partners says or does. This is quite common but the moment when you lose inhibition with how much you are criticizing your partner, that is when the problems start.
Consistently being criticized for every decision, even the most trivial ones; tend to make you start questioning your life decisions and abilities which is one of the most common signs of depression in relationships. A judgemental form of criticism in a relationship often affects the one on the receiving end to great degrees.
12. Your Partner Is ALWAYS Right
Yet another one of the common ways how depression affects relationship is by making someone feel inferior. If your partner is always claiming to be the one spewing the correct words, chances are that they are disregarding everything you say as a complete waste of time. There will be times and your partner will rectify by saying or doing the right thing but when the same becomes consistent, that is when you need to step down. If your partner fails to acknowledge their mistakes, claiming what they did was right, chances are that it starts to gaslight your thought process and inflicts negative implications.
Step away from such a situation.
13. You Have Completely Lost Control
To be frank, a healthy relationship is not about who has an upper hand over the other one. It is always about the kind of harmony both of the partners maintain in a relationship that matters over the course of time. If your partner has been consistently the one dominating you, in terms of your decision making or even something that affects every part of your life, there are chances for it to induce depression in a relationship.
Depression is often described as the disorder of power, so, if your partner has snatched away all forms of inhibition and power that influences even the most trivial aspects of your life, which is where you need to ends up consuming it whole.
14. It’s Their Way Or Highway
If you are witnessing situations in which your partner gets their way sorted even without much implications, that’s when you know that they have consumed your mind completely. It is very important that your partner not just listens but pays heed to your opinions and thoughts and if the same isn’t happening, it is possible for the situation to drive in depression and relationship problems.
If there is a constant push where your voice is consistently subsided and overruled by your partner, chances are that you are going to feel inferior and small in the relationship which is the first building block to developing depression.
15. You Are Constantly Irritable
Being irritable after a long bad day is quite natural and common but when the same becomes a habit and you start hating being in the presence of a person that’s supposed to make you feel happy, that is when you know that your relationship is going down in shambles.
If your partner is constantly irritable and giving off a negative energy around, chances are that the same is somehow going to be reflected in your mood as well. This is the primary reason why the majority of the people in relationships tend to portray the kind of mood that their partner has been showcasing.
16. You Have An Abusive Partner
If abuse has become part of your relationship, whatever the scenario be, it is necessary for you to call it quits and walk out of it. There is no possible justification for abuse, which is why it is important that you take the necessary steps to make amends and understand your worth in the relationship for doing better.
Apart from physical abuse, even mental abuse is an act that can take a toll on you and make a depression in a relationship a very relatively common term. Abuse is possibly the red alert that you can’t or rather shouldn’t come back from because that is what ends up making you lose control of your own choices and decisions and you are left behind as the manipulated one in the relationship which is anything but healthy.
17. Your Sex Life Is Almost Non-existent
One of the most common signs of depression in relationships is the fact that your sex life is almost non-existent. When your mood if down and you are consistently depressed, chances are that it will take your libido down as well. So, if your relationship is making you depressed, chances are that you will not even want to be physically intimate with your partner.
Being intimate and making love is also linked with the kind of mental compatibility between the couple which is why if you and your partner lack that, chances are that you are not going to indulge in any of consummating your love for one another.
18. Anxiety Has Become A Common Appearance
Anxiety is one of the most common side effects of depression and relationship problems. Depression is not just about becoming reclusive but even the slight act of terror and anxiousness over a simple act can be considered as life altering.
Panic attacks over the most trivial circumstances can end up becoming one of the most common happenstances in your life which is why it is necessary that you pay attention to these small red alerts and distance yourself from something toxic like this.
19. You Keep Isolating Yourself
When you are depressed in a relationship, chances are that even the most common act of going out and interacting with people might seem like a lot which is what majority of the people end up doing. If you are consistently finding yourself becoming more closed off and shy, completely different from what you were before, chances are that you are suffering from depression in a relationship.
Depression and relationship should never become synonymous. The moment that happens, that’s when you know that there is something wrong in the dynamics of the relationship and you need to make the changes.
20. You Have Lost Your Appetite
There could very well be a wide spread of food in front of you, but there are chances that none of it will entice you enough for you to reach out for it until and unless you are uncontrollably hungry. Chances are that the consistent mental torture takes such a toll on you that you end up forgoing something as important as eating.
Every part of it is correlated to the depression (R) in relationship symptoms and if you have been on the receiving end of the blunt, it is time that you consider changing ways and maybe letting go of something that is taking such a toll on you.
How Can One Change Depression In Relationship For Better?
If you are here thinking that the signs of depression in relationships can’t be undone, you are definitely mistaken. There can be instances when things spiral out of everyone’s control and end up affecting the overall mental health of an individual, in repercussion, affecting their relationship as well.
There are some ways in which you can switch how depression affects relationship for the better.
1. Sit Down And Talk
There can be situations in which both you and your partner might be depressed in the relationship and while that is quite common, there are instances when all you need to do is sit down and openly talk about the problems affecting both you and your partner extensively. There could be possibilities that the consistent trail of miscommunication is the primary reason behind the problems and depression spewing in your relationship. Sometimes, all you need to do is talk it out with your partner and let go off of the building resentment in your heart.
2. Talk To A Relationship Counselor
Having an outside outlook on your dismantled relationship can be the key to fixing it. If the relationship has been consistently weighing you down instead of making you feel wanted and happy, it is time that you seek out professional help along with your partner (if you want the relationship to sustain, that is).
It becomes easier to gain a better perspective and structure to the condition of your relationship when you have someone professional guiding you through the process. Confiding in someone and having unbiased opinions and judgement thrown at you is also an amazing way to understand what you and your partner have been doing that has been inducing depression in a relationship.
3. Distance Yourself
If happiness is your priority and you have been experiencing the complete opposite from the relationship you are in, it is time for you to take a step back and assess. If none of the rummaging methods of scrounging the remnants of the relationship seems to work, the best option for both you as well as your partner is to part ways and move on from one another.
There is no point in dragging out a relationship that leaves behind both the partners empty and hollow. If you have been consistently fighting the battles with your sanity and mental health and that too, with no positive outlooks, the best way to do so is by letting go off of the person that has consistently been dragging you down.
Depression in a relationship is consistently becoming a common and rising problem in the couples of today. With the stressful life that everyone leads, it often becomes hard to prioritize and provide time for a relationship if the person doesn’t find the effort worth it. If you have been experiencing signs of depression in relationships, don’t sweep it under the rug, rather, address it and find a solution to the problem.