12 Ways To Deal With Abandonment Issues – Fight Back The Loneliness

Have you ever had the impression that people abandoned you? That nagging anxiety, the ever-present fear of losing something, like a shadow following you in all your relationships?

The pain of abandonment is like a deep, lingering wound—it doesn’t just pass with time. It can leave you feeling profoundly alone, affecting your sense of worth and connection long after the moment has passed.

 It creates an emotional void and a feeling that one is inherently unlovable, in addition to physical isolation. This isn’t just about being depressed; it’s about the constant worry that undermines your relationships and destroys your sense of value.

Regaining your emotional well-being requires addressing these problems. You need realistic, feasible approaches to escape the vicious cycle of loneliness and anxiety.

In this article, discover 12 practical strategies to deal with abandonment issues, mend your emotional scars, and ultimately establish the enduring relationships you deserve.

Read More: The Psychology of Attachment Styles: How They Affect Relationships

What are abandonment issues?

There are often times when the person we trust and rely on the most leaves us with a vague reason.

Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that can affect relationships throughout a person’s life, but they are not a distinct condition. They can, therefore, relate to a wide variety of factors.

An anxious attachment style or early childhood trauma might cause fear of abandonment. Additionally, it is a characteristic of specific mental health disorders, like borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Abandonment issues can be internalized later in life after a painful breakup or the loss of a loved one. However, parents who physically or emotionally disengage most often create these issues in childhood. They can also arise from feeling emotionally neglected or unsupported in your current relationships, and they may develop even if you haven’t experienced a traumatic event.

If you or a loved one is experiencing this anxiety, the first step can be to learn the indicators of abandonment issues. Although abandonment difficulties can be terrible, recognizing your worries and their origins can help you heal and deal.

Signs of Abandonment Issues

While many believe abandoned individuals are hostile and not good to be around, you may often be surprised when you learn the reality behind this perception.

Some of the common signs and symptoms that you will often encounter in people with abandonment issues include:

• Emotional instability characterizes abandonment trauma. Individuals who have experienced abandonment often undergo intense, erratic emotions. They consistently feel insecure due to the fear that their loved ones might leave them. This dread of rejection or abandonment can foster an anxiety disorder, particularly in relationships.
• A typical result of abandonment trauma is the inability to establish deep, close relationships. People frequently shy away from intense emotional relationships out of fear of being harmed or abandoned again. Reluctance to commit to long-term relationships or maintaining a distance from partners are two examples of this avoidance.
• Conversely, abandonment trauma can also develop into clinginess and reliance. Impacted people could experience an overpowering need for their friends or partners to validate and reassure them continuously.
• One common effect of abandonment trauma is low self-esteem. Many internalize their experiences, think they are undeserving of love or care, and blame themselves for the abandonment. Chronic emotions of inadequacy and self-doubt might result from this negative self-perception.

Read More: Growing Together: Why Personal Growth is Crucial in Long-Term Relationships

How To Overcome Abandonment Issues?

Recovering from abandonment concerns is personal and may need patience, hard work, and expert advice. The following actions could be helpful:

1. Give up Obsessively Focusing on the wants of Others

Refocusing attention on yourself is the first step in overcoming an abandonment phobia. Yes, you must learn to look after yourself regularly! Many people who have gone through the intense agony of being abandoned have become codependent or people pleasers. The other individual comes first in both situations. Their needs get elevated while neglecting yours.

If you wish to heal, you must regain control of your life and focus on yourself and your needs. Ensure you’re taking care of your basic requirements, which include eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, exercising, and writing or meditating.

2. Locate and Cultivate Relationships that are Safe and Healthy

Safe relationships are the second technique to overcome abandonment anxiety. People who dread abandonment have usually experienced severe trauma, abuse, neglect, and instability in their most intimate relationships at some point in their lives.

Finding and investing in individuals who genuinely respect, value, and support you is crucial if you’re an adult trying to heal. These connections show you that there are other options besides being abandoned and that security and safety are attainable.

3. Calm Your Inner Child

Learning to sit with your inner child can help you overcome your fear of being abandoned. When provoked, you feel insecure and threatened. Your inner kid is yelling for the love, care, and attention they were never given. You must develop the ability to sit with yourself, to calm yourself, and to tell yourself that no matter what, you are safe here.

Reciting mantras, writing in a notebook about your anxieties, or imagining yourself comforted are all ways to help yourself remember that you are not in danger and do not need to remain in survival mode.

Read More: Healthy Fights: How Conflict Can Strengthen Your Relationship

4. Self-Discovery

Reflecting on your worries might help you manage them, even though it’s normal for those who fear abandonment to feel humiliated. These anxieties frequently become ingrained, and ignoring them is unlikely to make them go away. You may transform your life for the better by facing your emotions.

5. Find out what Kind of Attachment you have

Although childhood shapes our attachment styles, the following expectations can permanently influence how we interact with others in adulthood. Knowing your attachment type might help you better understand your anxieties and increase your awareness of your actions. You can develop healthier ways of connecting with people over time.

6. Seek Treatment Assistance

It can be challenging to manage abandonment concerns on your own because they are complicated. You can have a better understanding of your anxieties and their causes with the assistance of a therapist. To process your past grief and create better connections in the present and the future, you’ll start to grasp what causes the abandonment difficulties you’ve been having.

7. Practice Mindfulness

Constant unrest in our minds is often a common reason behind underlying fear. Healing abandonment issues comes from within. You can’t physically do anything unless your mental health is in good shape.

Start by taking a mindful approach to your well-being. Don’t let anything distract you from gaining that peace of mind. Meditation is an amazing way to tame your mind and find a good way to channel all the negative and dark thoughts clouding your mind.

Take some time out of your day—maybe 5 minutes—to practice mindful meditation, and you will witness how calm and in control you feel within a few days.

Fighting back through the constant unrest becomes even easier when you feel a certain control over your life.

Read More: How to Help a Loved One Safely Escape an Abusive Relationship

8. Take up a Hobby

Often, one of the primary reasons behind the lingering fear of abandonment issues stems from an empty mind. You will have negative thoughts if you don’t find an effective way to channel your time and thoughts.

The best way to keep yourself preoccupied is to take up a hobby you enjoy. You’ll find that you spend more time doing that instead of holing yourself up somewhere with negative thoughts swirling through your mind.

How To Help Someone With Abandonment Issues?

The fear of abandonment is one of the worst things one can experience. If you find someone struggling with the same, lend your support. It alone could help them overcome negative thoughts and fight them off for good.

It is never easy to see someone beating themselves up, but the best you can do to help someone cope and deal with abandonment issues is the following things.

1. Engage in Open Communication

Communication is essential in every relationship, particularly if one partner fears abandonment. Anxieties associated with abandonment might be lessened when you both know you can be straightforward and honest, minimizing miscommunication and conflict.

2. Recognize Their Style of Attachment

Knowing someone who struggles with abandonment can help you see their actions as a result of their background rather than anything sinister.

Additionally, it can assist you in determining when they require reassurance and when they require distance. For instance, a nervously attached partner can ask questions like “Are you okay?” “What are you thinking?” and “Do you love me?” or they might want to talk to or see you more regularly.

On the other hand, an avoidantly attached partner can distance themselves or attempt to initiate a fight for no apparent reason. You can tell that your partner might feel rejected or that anything has sparked their fear if you comprehend these patterns of conduct.

Read More: Effective Communication Tips for a Healthier Relationship

3. Avoid Pressuring Them

People who have gone through trauma may not always feel comfortable speaking candidly with others. They fear showing their vulnerability in front of others because past experiences have hurt them. You should communicate your availability and willingness to listen to your spouse who struggles with desertion.

However, don’t force them to open up if they’re not ready. Should they become too uneasy, they may withdraw. Asking them how you can help might be all you need to do.

4. Recognize That It Concerns Them

Partners who struggle with desertion may display jealousy or withdrawal. It can give you the impression that you’re hurting them somehow. They might even attempt to blame you directly.

However, those struggling with abandonment aren’t reacting to your actions directly. Their behavior is shaped by past trauma. Drawing from the memory of being hurt, they simply try to avoid similar situations.

People with abandonment difficulties frequently feel guilty about their actions once they lose it or behave wildly. When they feel those intense feelings, that’s a perfect opportunity to talk about it and let them know you’re there for them.

Read More: How to Reignite Passion in Your Relationship after Years Together

When to Seek Professional Help?

Even while self-help techniques have their uses, professional involvement is sometimes required. If your abandonment problems are really affecting your relationships, self-worth, or day-to-day functioning, it might be time for therapy. Persistent emotions of worthlessness, intense rejection anxiety, trouble trusting people, or self-destructive relationship habits are all indicators that self-help is insufficient.

Furthermore, professional support can offer the resources required for a more thorough recovery if abandonment anxiety results in panic attacks, sadness, or harmful coping strategies like substance misuse.

Overcoming the fear of abandonment can be significantly aided by therapy. A therapist can assist you in reframing negative thought patterns, finding the underlying roots of your anxieties, and creating more constructive coping strategies.

Read More: 7 Playful Date Night Ideas to Reignite Passion in Your Relationship

Conclusion

Although dealing with abandonment issues can be daunting, keep in mind that you are not alone. Similar emotions and worries plague many people, but recovery is achievable with time, self-compassion, and the correct support. You can trust yourself, create better connections, and live a whole life; your past does not define you. You deserve to feel secure, loved, and appreciated; every little step you take in recovery is a win.

Putting your emotional health first will help you overcome your fear of being abandoned, even though moving forward may not always be straightforward. One of the most empowering choices is to recover through therapy, supportive relationships, or self-help techniques.

Have you ever had problems related to abandonment? Which coping mechanisms have you found effective? You never know who you might influence if you share your ideas or experiences in the comments section below!

• Jul 2020
  Written by Somapika D
• Apr 2025
  Edited by Ankita